Girls Nights... IN!

After my last few weekends of being at the bar drinking until she closes, pretty much alone... I've decided to take a handle on my situation and do something new. A girls night IN!

Sounds like fun right? Well it is!

Friday Night I went to my friends trailor with her, her boyfriend, her great dane Titan, and her asshole of a cat named ....I dunno we'll say patches. -Just kidding it's misty, I wouldn't forget your cat's name then come back and revise my post later when I remembered to make it look like I never forgot... NOOO I wouldn't do that (LOL) We ate some food, played some cards drank some margaritas and cold beers, Ashley took a shot of sauza and barfed -it was her idea to do the shot of death, she lost, all is fair. All fun stuff, all fun stuff! 

Freaks \/ \/ \/

/\ /\ /\ Freaks

I remember going to sleep on the 'couch bed' with the great dane and waking up next to a cat, slightly wild trailor times.

It was such a beautiful day the next day we went for a walk with the dog and just had a nice relaxing evening.

On Saturday, I had my girl after supper when she came back from her sleepover at my little brothers. We played some games, watched a movie, she made me a cheese sandwich. I'm telling you she makes the best cheese sandwiches for a four year old. -Although mayo gives me the WORST god forsaken heartburns ever! INSTANT HEARTBURN! 

Then later that night her dad got home and we all curled up with the dog in a single bed and slept. Or well some of us slept. I was pushed uncomfortably into the wall the whole night. gonna try and make a diagram of how I sleep night time when were at stephens moms, no one should have to live like this.

This is us in a single bed. We simply do not fit, or at least I don't. Not to mention the blankets are under the dog and the mans feet and over maybe one and a half of my legs. I swear I'm the only one who gets cold too LOL

Next week I think I'm gonna try and stay sober. Me and my girl are having a weekend home. Finally!

Ten Drinking Related Lists of Ten

Ten Seven Drinking Related Lists of Ten

I honestly didn't have time for the last three.

Due to my lack of memory on what I did this weekend I am instead going to make lists!

Why my SO sucks when he drinks:

• He doesn't know when to stop
• He pee's around the house on liquor EVERY TIME
• Stays out too late (ditches me)
• Is useless that night
• Is useless the next day
• Gets rowdy
• Gets touchy
• Slurrs
• Gives me false 'marriage proposals' 
• Has no shame

Why I suck when I drink:

• I get rowdy
• Hangovers
• Memory loss
• No sense of others personal space     
• I eat, A LOT!
• My eyes look like sheep cunnys! Bahaha!
• Bad pictures
• I tend to give people my life story
• Gets mad at myself for wasting valuable reading time
• I can Be a bit mean.. (just a little)

My top TEN Drinking Reasons Excuses:

• But it's my best friends birthday
• Wedding shots
• So stressed out
• I deserve a night out
• I haven't been out in a while
• If he gets to go out so do I!
• Girls Night!
• Wine isn't actually drinking, gosh...
• but it a holiday!!
• But this is my friends-families only week home for a while

Ten Favorite Alcoholic Beverages:

• BUD LIGHT!
• Galliot Wine
• Baby Champagne (pink)
• Tequila Rose
• Jello Shots
• Canadian Beer
• Corona
• Heniken 
• Cheap Whiskey and 7Up
• Various Sweet Girly Shots

Ten Nasty shots I've made myself sick of:

• Fireball
• Sauza gold (but i love it)
• Jager Bombs
• Blow Jobs ;) haha
• B-52
• Sambuca
• Newfie Screech
• Vodka Jello shots
• Sour Puss
• Baja Rosa

Ten Types of Hangovers:

• I'm still Drunk Hangover (hiccup)
• The 'fuck' walking straight lines and eye foot coordination Hangover
• The Please Make It Stop Hangover
• The What In The Zeus Is Wrong With ME! Hangover
• Classic, I'm never drinking again Hangover
• The Dude Where's My Car
• The I need To quit drinking and figure my life out Hangover
• The 'The lights sounds and people of everyday life piss me off' Hangover
• The never getting out of bed Hangover
• The 'sinister stealth hangover' you wake up fine then a few hours later BOOM! 

Ten Hangover Side Effects:

• Ass Mouth (thats right when you mouth tastes like ass)
• obvious headache
• a hate of general lighting that vampires would likely applaud
• The 'spins'
• Gut Rot
• Hangover Shits
• Dizziness
• Pasties (often goes hand in hand with ass mouth)
• Barfing
• The hate of all sounds even the drop of a pin can sound like minor explosions
• 
  

My Awesome List of PROS vs. CONS of Drinking!

Want some cheese with that whine!

What's that saying, something about crying rivers and building bridges, Get Over It! That's me this weekend. I literally did nothing, Friday I went on skidoo to a few cabins had a Bacardi breezer, I woke up Saturday with all the muscles pulled in my back. In extreme pain. However, I don't want to talk about how I sat around for two days in bed crying, on pain meds. So...

Pros vs. Cons of drinking :

Con: Alcoholism! ...Obviously

Pro: Studies have shown it protects your heart. I won't begin to argue with scientists.

Pro: Increased confidence! Hey we can all use a little bit of that!

Con: Too much CONFIDENCE! We all see those people, sometimes we've been those embarrassing people.

Con: Hangovers! Bleh, no thanks. I've spent far too many sunny Sundays hiding in bed.

Pro: Can indeed help improve your social life! 

Pro: You get drunk and act like a idiot!

Con: You get drunk and act like and idiot...? 

Con: Its hard on the wallet!

Pro: It's easy on the soul! Helps you relax...

PRO: Drunk Sex ;) you know what I'm talking about !

CON: Too drunk to have sex -_-

Con: Way too many calories!

Con: Dehydrates your body resulting in bad skin etc...

Con: Increased memory loss!
Con: Drunk texting, messaging, calling people.
Con: Embarrassing Photos tagged on Facebook! 

I think I could continue with this one but obviously we see where it's going. I no longer see the light in drinking. If anyone thinks of some to add feel free to comment it!

My very own photographic, Facebook shared, reasons drinking and cameras don't mix!

Oh gosh, the advice I'd give myself five years ago.

NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Exactly what it looks like.. lol 

ughhhh... 

My wonderful SO

Kissing other girls.. I could've done a full page of these photos.

again... 

HAHAHA not as embarrassing for me.

I should mention these are photos I'm currently tagged in. I have no idea why I'm still tagged in them, they must have made it through my careful screening. There are plenty worse I've since deleted, un-tagged and reported. Even more that I was just simply too embarrassed to share here. Hope you Enjoyed!