It goes like this, recognition, reasonable expectations, follow through and if accomplished you get a reward. My reward for not drinking any this week even tho pressured to do so, was a night at the bar. (Something I haven't done in a while.) Now here's where the reward system is completely FUCKED UP, my reward is to have a hangover? This morning, after a awesome dance last night, I find myself lying on the floor with the worse case of 'blender brain' I've ever experienced. So, if my thoughts are messy today, please, forgive me.
Heres how I went from here...
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| The ladies ! <3 Haven't seen them in a while due to no drinking. |
To here...
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| Notice the two pimples that materialized In 4 hours. |
Let me just start by saying I've never felt more missed or loved then I did last night. Honestly I walked in the bar and I had so many people actually come up to me and say they haven't seen me in a while, and that they missed seeing me around. Even people saying I was doing a great job with cutting back. Now, here's the thing I'm not broadcasting the fact that I'm cutting out drinking, so for people to actually notice that I have been, without me having to say that's what I'm doing is amazing/weird. People were smiling at me dragging me up for dances, buying me beer. It was as if they hadn't seen me in years. It made me feel great that others have noticed. Also, not one person asked me if I was pregnant LOL usually in small towns if your not drinking or quitting drinking, you must infact be pregnant. Don't you just love gossip!
I really love my town and all the people in it tho, they really know how to make a girl smile. Population of 2000 (maybe) and about half of those I genuinely care for even when they're being nosey bastards! (Lol)
I'm not sure how much I drank last night, I'm guessing four or five beer before the bar at Sams house waiting for the sitter and doing our hair. Then, as soon as I got to the bar I headed for the dance floor, after being stopped for hugs and chats about a dozen times. You can't have beer on the dance floor and I was on the dance floor just about the whole night, well either there or in the washroom peeing. So, I don't think I went too overboard. Also, I stuck to beer. Overall not bad maybe 10 beer all night until 3am.
As with every drunk night the walk from the bar to home is a pain in the ass. Especially when your drunk boyfriend who outweighs you by double has to be practically carried home. Even worse when the drunk boyfriend starts throwing dirty drunken slurs about things in the past, then you both start a foolish argument slurring at each other looking like idiots, and the next day you remember nothing about it. That was fun.
After around four hours sleep, two glasses of water, one cup of tea, a tylenol and some dinner, I'm still laid here on the floor constructing a messy blog of thoughts. Sorting through blender brain is not a easy task. I have shit to do today, I do not have time for hangovers. But boy did I have a good time last night.
Was it worth it?
Yes.
Next goal?
Dancing at the bar, with one beer, the whole night. Not a simple task folks. But we shall see how it goes.
With that said this post is officially done. Ill leave u now with this cute video of how I picture myself dancing at the bar.
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